After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old
Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his
seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but
angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin
moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad
said to him:
"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure
out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."
"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two
squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst
thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar
two."
Almost two million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings
on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny,
touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An
all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's,
during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the
Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a
chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a
major new comic voice.
